I know Cristan Robinson-Nolfe from my current job.
I never had the pleasure of meeting her husband, but to talk about Cristan, one would have to mention her husband, Tony Nolfe. I’ve only known Cristan for six months, but it was quite obvious that her love for Tony was as strong as they come. Her desk was covered in photos that documented their lives together. Smiling, goofing around, making funny faces – her smile in those photos seemed brighter and wider than any smile of hers I’d ever seen when he wasn’t around. I can only guess that it was one of those unions where they completed one another in a way that transcends words or understanding.
They’d known each other since they were young teenagers, but came together as husband and wife in a small chapel in Gatlinburg, Tennessee in 2006. As their love grew even deeper and stronger, the rest of their young lives stretched out before them. There was no reason to believe anything could ever come between Cristan and Tony and their dream of realizing a long and prosperous life of love together.
It was shortly after they met years ago that Cristan found out about Tony’s heart problem. Called Endocarditis, Tony’s heart problem began when the site of routine dental surgery got infected and carried the infection into the valves of his heart, infecting them.
Even throughout numerous hospital stays and visits, Tony and Cristan were able to maintain full-time jobs. Even though Tony’s health had its ups and downs, one thing remained clear; Cristan was as devoted as ever to her husband, in sickness and in health.
Tony lost his battle with his weakened heart on July 20, 2008. He was only 31 years old.
November would have been their 2nd wedding anniversary.
This sad story took an even more tragic turn today as we got the news that Cristan had passed. Perhaps a life without Tony was too much for her to bear. She was 28.
I last saw her last week. I wish I could see her again.
I didn’t even notice that she’d cleared her desk of all the photos of her and Tony before she left last week. I wish I would have stopped in her doorway long enough to notice the empty desk. I wish…
Please say a prayer for the Robinson and Nolfe families.
Cristan was on of a kind. I was happy to know her. For only a brief time she was my wife, but always my love. I miss her. I met Tony several times and could see that the love she had for him was greater and stronger than anything I had known, and he was able, and willing, and fulfilling it. That made me happy. That makes me happy. As I write this I’m looking at our son…Cristan’s son. I had to tell him that his mommy was never coming back today. He’s six and its been a while since she saw him, but the image of her is deep in his soul. He misses her and that thirst will never be quenched. We ache together for her, but know that she lives on in him.
Forever my love Dear Cristan…Forever my friend Dear Tony. I hope you guys are trashing the hell out of heaven tonight.
If anyone has any stories about her or pictures that he could have, they would be everything.
Pray for us.
Bob – I’m so sorry for your loss. And for your son. I’ll be praying for you both…
I ONLY KNEW CRISTAN ROBINSON-NOLFE FOR A FEW MONTHS, AND HONESTLY SHE WAS HARD TO GET CLOSE TO, BUT I COULD SEE BEHIND HER EYES FOR SOME REASON, BOB, I AM SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS, AND WILL PRAY FOR YOU AND YOUR SON, GOD BLESS YOU
You’ve written a very nice tribute, but its a tribute to a person that doesn’t exist. Known her for a few months, knew her from work – not one of you knew Cristin Robinson Nolfe, nor Tony. I met them both more than 10 years ago. Tony Nolfe was a real human being, a guy who was always fun, and even though his physical heart was bad, his ‘real’ one was huge. He was extremely special. Cristin lived a life filled with hard core drugs and violence to the day of her death. She was mean. She hurt people, lots of people, physically and emotionally. I wish harm to no one nor do I take anything but grief from her death for those that are hurting, but do not make a saint of this woman.
Hers is not a story of Romeo and Juliet, but of Sid and Nancy. Please do not glorify it.
I also wanted to add my word of condolence to the Nolfe-Robinson family, to Bob, to her son. I apologize if my words seems harsh or cruel, but I speak only the truth so many of us know, those who are still licking wounds years later. Cristan may not have been a person whom people could get close to without being eventually wounded (sometimes to your soul), but no one deserves the grief of the loss she experienced when Tony passed nor does her family deserve the loss of her. My whole heart goes out to them, my sincere prayers as well. That the negativity can finally stop. That the good parts of her soul can be pieced together for the sake of her son. God bless and be with that child the most.
My friend, I was with Cristan when she gave birth to our son. When she held him quietly to her breast to feed him. Violent and mean? No. It was Passion.
Please, let her rest in peace. We all make mistakes and have regrets. Many of us try to make amends, or are born again because we have the time to reflect and see the need for change. She was so young, God Bless her soul.
Also, thank you for doing this Lewis. I dont know you but you must be a special guy with a heart for God, thanks.
Bob, I thank God that you have that vision of Cristan and your son at his birth burned into your memory. Your son will need that, and that was probably one of the few peaceful moments of Cristan’s life. She deserved more of them. But there are many, many more people who retain visions of Cristian’s fist or steel-toed boot connecting with a part of their body. Or her laugh. The laugh she had when she knew she had dug into you deep and won.
I will not play you like a fool Bob, as long as you don’t play me for one. You are not a stupid man by any means. I doubt you could have been married to her and not known this part of her life. I believe it is the reason her son remained with you after her marriage to Tony. But as I said before, I bless the fact the the good Lord above has placed that child with you, and did so even before this horrible event. I have no doubt that he will grow to be a strong, healthy man and hope that only the happy parts of his mother’s life are shared with him. And like I also said before, hopefully now the negativity that seemed to surround Cristan like a black aura will finally be absolved. I pray for peace. Peace for those who are hurting over her loss, and peace for those to find forgiveness for what sorrows and hurt she caused them for so many years.
God bless and keep you, Bob, and your young son. You will both be in my prayers for a long time to come. One thing I do hope is that he has his mother’s smile, and that his eyes crinkle like hers did at those moments when she was truly happy.
Lewis you wrote this blog about the person you knew…you wrote it out of the kindness of your heart, to share with your friends and readers the way you felt about Cristan. I knew Cristan through her rough times and her smooth times. We all have done things we are not proud of…ALL OF US!!! I am sorry that what you have written had to be brought down by “Witheld” and bring a string of comments that is not needed here.
Bob, Robert is a doll and he is in my thoughts.
Rest In Peace Cristan.
I’m sorry for the loss of your friend, Lew.
Great lessons throughout this posting, from many different sources.
‘Withheld’, I respect your viewpoint and am torn as to whether or not your posts are within the context of the intent of the tribute. As you can see, I have left them up for now. I respect your right to voice your thoughts and am sorry for how you’ve been affected by all of it.
I wrote about Cristan, not to sugarcoat her, or her effect on this world, but simply to write about how the stark sadness of her passing affected me… Myself. What I wrote should in no way seek to exclude her effect on you, or anyone else and their perception of her. Both sides can exist cohesively. How she acted toward you and others was her issue and for her to account for. I wrote factually and wrote it simply in honor of life lost and to open others’ eyes to the tragedy of her tale. A fact I’m sure we can both agree on.
I agree wholeheartedly when I read your words and see your request for peace, which makes the intent of your post all the more puzzling. The peace we seek for such healing from the hurts – both intentional and unintentional – is only going to come from one source. Not from airing grievances for all to see. I can only ask that you, as with everyone else, find the peace within your resources to forgive her and allow her that, at the very least.
I feel that in addition to the peace we ask be given, we must first be willing to offer. We cannot consume without contribution.
I ask that forgiveness be showered upon all of us in large portions for our own trespasses. Cristan was no different, I’m sure.
Thank you.
Thank you Lewis
I too have known Cristan over 10 years and i must say the thought of her in her steel toe boots makes me smile. Thats the way she was in my memories of her. Keep in mind “witheld” since you have known her so long that we were probably still children when and if you ever saw her boot come in contact with someones head. it might have even been my boot, but so what? We were kids at punk rock shows and thats what we did at those shows. I grew up. Cristan grew up. We may not understand all of Cristans decisions but its not our place to judge. Truthfully I had not seen her in a few years or been close to her in even more but I do know Tony and Cristan very well and lets not pretend that Cristan was the heavy drug user that got Tony on dope because thats just not the case. Unfortunantly we all used when we were young. Who did what up until the end is none of our business. I only know that for her to want to die she must have been in alot of pain and that is what makes me sad for her. Im sad for her beautiful son who now faces life without his mommy. I know she loved Robert. I dont know what may have happened that caused her not to have custody of him but again, not my business. We dont know her heart. Until youve walkd in someones shoes you just cant know how they feel.We all make mistakes. Bob I do have pictures I would love to share with Robert. Cristan I can only hope you have found some peace now. You will never be forgotten.
I met Cristan when we 13 or 14 yrs. old. We were just young girls hanging out at the mall & trying to smoke & look cool : -) She was super sweet & beautiful. I spent the night at her home a couple of times and sadly we drifted apart over the years. I was excited to catch a glimpse of her many years ago at a very large punk show with her big laced up boots & super high mohawk and even though we didn’t speak, I smiled to see that she and I had drifted down the same path of life, even away from one another. I have contacted some of our old mutual friends to see if they were aware of what had happened. So sad, I still thought about her off and on over the years and since I found out about this on Mon., I have been consumed by the loss. She was so young, but I guess to me she will always be 14… I have to get up to my attic & see if I can find some old pics of her.
Wow…I know when we keep a blog we open ourselves up for buttheads like “withheld”, but dear Lord, I am still often caught off-guard at how rotten people can be. Lew–I’d delete that comment…that’s just my opinion. You don’t need that ugliness on here.
Love you and miss you and Marti.
I met Cristan when I was 18 and she was 22. We met at buffalos at hamilton mill where we worked together and immedieltley we had a connection, a bond. We were nothing alike, I have no tattoo, have never been in a fight in my life, never tried a drug and frankly…I dont even like to cuss. But like mentioned above, someone said she was hard to get to get to knowm hard to see behind her eyes…I never had that problem. Within months of us knowing each other we became roomates. I watched robert on a few occasion, went to family dinners, we went on spring break together etc. We would always laugh and talk about when I had kids since she had been into hard core drugs she would have the talk with them telling them to stay away from them. Sadly after we moved out of our apartments, I moved in with my boyfriend who soon became my husband and she moved in with her parents. We lost touch besides hi’s here and there. Once I had my daughter I began to thank about her and sadly, I found out the troublesome news. No..I didnt know the Christan that hurt some of you…or ever came in contact with the cristan that was addicted to drugs. But for the time I knew and loved cristan she was a friend that would always tell me she would hurt the guy who was hurting me, the one who said we would watch our babies grow up together, the one who would drink saphire liquor with me until we just couldnt anymore. So for all of you who know only of the bad in people, remeber there are some people that only see the good. Bob, I am praying for robert. The robert I knew went to the goddard school and loved my dogs and his mom, and I know things cant change that much!
I was friends with Tony first…dear, sweet, Tony…I loved him the first day I met him. He was so special and was a good friend to so many. I always felt like I wanted to mother him. I met Cristan when her and Tony started dating and in all honesty Tony wouldn’t have been with a bad, violent person. Cristan was a tortured soul but she was good. She was a super cool chick, no bullshit, she just was who she was and I loved that about her. She’d kick the crap out of anyone who messed with you, she was tough but most certainly not a bad person. I saw her at her weakest points after Tony died and I believe she bared all to me. She had a wall up but she knew she could trust me and I am so sad that she is gone. I tried to be there for her towards the end but I knew there was a lot that she didn’t want to expose me to and I understand that. I did what I could and I do truely wish it was more. I love her and will always miss her and I see how Tony could have loved her so much….she was great, she really was.