…having your car hit in front of your house by your teenage neighbor.
Your teenage neighbor who charges you $50+ each time she babysits.
The one who doesn’t want this on a police report or an insurance claim.
The one who’s babysitting for free until she moves out and gets married. =)
I stopped this morning and talked to the gentleman pictured in the previous post. His name is Dwayne Murphy and this is pretty much his job, he told me. I talked to him for about 2o minutes on the way to work this morning and I didn’t really know what to expect. I walked up to him and he grabbed my hand as if to shake it and it was then that I realized that he was using my hand to pull me in for a hug! He hugged me and said, “It’s so nice to finally meet you, brother!” And was it. He’s just as kind and good-spirited in conversation as he is when I pass him at 40mph.
He shared some of his story and intimated to me the story of a near-death experience a few years back where he was shot 5 times and couldn’t work as a result of the lingering pain and physical ailments. He pointed to the parking lot and showed me the bright, shiny truck that a very kind passerby/stranger/local business owner had given him a few weeks back upon hearing that his minivan was out of service. That’s right… A stranger just gave him a truck. A nice Dodge Dakota. Only a couple years old, too. He has a family – been with his wife for 13 years now. Five kids, the oldest of which is currently in college and the youngest of which just turned 10. He told me of the time he walked to Florida from Lawrenceville about 7 years ago. (We didn’t have time to get to that one, but we will!) He gave me some papers that contained messages with scriptural references. He also gave me his number and invited me to said local business owner’s store on Saturday morning, where said business owner has opened his store up for a gathering of local men (all of whom Dwayne met while on said street corner) for general fellowship and maintaining good spiritual health. I think that’s amazing. A gathering of strangers – men from all different walks of life who wouldn’t normally come together under normal circumstances – for nothing but to lift one another up in brotherhood to face life’s everyday ins and outs. To pray for each other. To help one another and to provide insight and understanding. This gathering of 12 men as a result of God’s call for Dwayne’s heart. I felt privileged to have shared that little bit of time with him on the sidewalk this morning, amid ALL the honks of his passing fans. There were a ton of them. I found myself waving at all of them too! =) Kinda fun!
Needless to say, I’m glad I stopped. I say humbly that we all have a chance to “stop” everyday.
We’re always better as a result of it, I’m finding.
Okay… Hear me out. For those of you thinking I only have this guy on here because of what his sign says, I say, “Partly.” His sign could say “Have a nice day!” or “Kiss me, I’m Irish!” Although I DO doubt that.
I admire him because I’ve been seeing this guy off and on at random intersections all around Lawrenceville for the last 4 years we’ve lived here. Always with his chalkboard with a different daily message. Some days he keeps the previous day’s message. Perhaps he got some extra honks with it the day before. This morning’s message was, “Jesus! Is in you” Yesterday was “Jesus! The Cure.” Earlier this week it was, “Forsake this world.” Last week he got artistic and drew an eye with a cross in the middle of the eye, with the message, “What are YOU focused on?” I see him everyday now that I have a new job with a new route to take. Some people honk. Some wave. Some just stare and others probably don’t even see him at all. That’s okay though. He keeps smiling and waving to whoever will cast a glance. In between cycles of the light he reads from the Bible he’s always got in hand. He’s not homeless, either. I think some people suspect it, thinking that he’s just got nothing better to do, or nowhere else to be. “THAT must be the reason for his insanity!” No, not that, either. He drives there in the car you see parked behind him in the adjoining parking lot. He dresses well and brings coffee, too.
Okay… I do happen to think that it’s a bonus that he’s out there spreading the word of God. I am in awe of his spirit. Not just his Chrisitian spirit, necessarily. The desire to get up at the crack of dawn to go out and hold a sign on the street corner… In hopes that WE would read it. Think about it. The only people you normally see out on the street corner are ASKING YOU for something. Car washes, people looking for donations, flower peddlers… Even people dressed as Uncle Sam and The Statue of Liberty want you to come in and buy a mattress. But this guy? He doesn’t want anything from us. He actually wants to GIVE us something. Free. A message. Maybe you could honk for him. That would be nice.
Like I said, his sign could say anything and I’d still post it here. His spirit and love for doing it is what I envy. When was the last time I got out there and jumped up and down for something? Y’know?
It asks me to live life with wider eyes (Save your Asian jokes… =) and see the light that beams from others Maybe you’ll open yours wider too, now.
But you can’t totally reject the allure and importance of the message, either.
I’m sure that the “secret” to his spirit, love and motivation lies in his message, after all.
Which isn’t really a “secret” now, seeing as to how he’s out there, everyday, trying to share it with us in the first place.
Thanks for reading.
So you’ve probably noticed that I’ve been away from here for a couple weeks now. It’s because my JOB has me busy! That’s right. My job. Employed once again, thankfully. I’m working for the leading wireless on-site paging company. We provide retailers, restaurants, churches and hospitals with their paging systems. Have you ever been to a restaurant and had to wait for a table? While you were waiting, did they perhaps give you a coaster that alerted you once your table was ready? Chances are, that was our system they were using. We do Target pharmacies so that you can shop around and be alerted once your prescription is ready. Auto service centers, etc… We also do the church nursery paging systems that alert parents when their kids get fussy. It’s a fun job and atmosphere. I look forward to getting better at it.
Quick God story and how all this worked out for His glory…
I saw the ad online and applied. Something about it sounded fun. I get a call a week later to set up an interview with a guy whose name sounded awfully familiar… Turns out that the guy is our Bible study group leader’s ex-husband!! Our best friend’s ex-husband is now my sales manager! Uh-huh… Crazy, huh? If that wasn’t enough, one of the owners of the company goes to our church and the lady from the marketing dept. babysits Olivia in the children’s ministry! Knew her by name and face! Crazier, huh?
I was blown away by the way it all came together. When you first hear the story, you (like I) would say “small world, huh?”. But instead of chalking it up to a small world, I’ll give it up to a big God.
Thanks to you for your prayers and well wishes.
Okay. My hand is raised. High.
Raise yours if you’re one of the ones who loves to sit down at a table that’s already been made. Me too.
The food’s been cooked. The plates are out. The drinks are poured and all you have to do is wash your hands and sit down.
Isn’t that great? You don’t really have to do anything but come to the table with your God-given appetite and eat what’s before you. You’d be hard-pressed to find anyone that could turn down such a generous scenario. I couldn’t, I’ll admit.
But where is it written that we deserve such treatment? I’ve found recently in my job search that I might pass something up because it doesn’t live up to what my idea of a “great” situation should be or look like. “But it’s not even a Fortune 500 company…”, I might say to myself. Or it may be, “Your salespeople only make how much??”, I’ll ponder somewhat disappointedly. I’d like to find the place where everybody’s making $100k a year and looking for people like me to add to their team. I want the ready-made success where all I have to do is come into an already great situation and make it greater. It’s only human nature. We seek the path of least resistance. The set table.
I heard overheard a teacher at Wal-Mart agonizing over the phone about how she was going to see about changing schools at the end of the year because her students were “too much to handle”. ” You mean they don’t come pre-behaved and stuff?” Would it be too much to affect change?
Or the married couple immediately ready to call it quits because it’s “just not like it used to be”. There’s often a disconnect between how much we like to be the one submitted to and how much we want to be the one doing the submitting.
Or the athlete who wants to be traded to a good team because they’re tired of losing. “I never asked to be the leader of this team.”
The examples abound. We seek “easy”.
But who said that it’s to be so?
What if God wants us to be there sometimes to help set the table? Would we not be prouder of our achievements? Would our faith be stronger as a result? I think so.
I had the thought spoken into my head earlier today and have been thinking about it ever since. Maybe my calling isn’t to find the sure thing and then go bet on it. That would be too easy. Perhaps I’m cut out for a few battles and built for off-roads as well. Maybe with my assistance they become a successful business. Maybe I can be the first to break the $100k mark. If I’d just take my blinders and expectations off for a moment, how much more would I have access to, and impact upon?
I’m divinely built for the struggle. With support when I need it. I just need to remember that.
Maybe then the meal will taste that much better.
PS – Our pastor says “Life Takes B-Zone Muscle”. Awesome message here. Click on the service from 1/27/08.
Count your blessings.
Right where you are.
In this moment.
Look around at your family and friends and give thanks. Give thanks for the time you’ve had with them. Don’t count on tomorrow or beyond. Just count yourself privileged to have been blessed with their presence…
To have met them. To have known them. To have been related to them.
Whether good or bad, long or short, happy or sad, in sickness or in good health. In the sliver of time it takes you to read this sentence, search your heart and mind and find the value in the time you were given with them.
Perhaps you’ve got someone on your mind, but for some reason you’re not on speaking terms with this person or these people. Why not? First – Imagine they’ve got one more day left here in this world. What would you say in the urgency of that moment? Second – Why can’t you say it now?
Life is fragile – and short. All you’re given is time. All you can leave is legacy. Legacy is built through relationship. How are your relationships fairing nowadays?
Be happy today, for tomorrow is nothing more than an assumption.
I’ve been led to post this in response to a couple issues some friends of ours are facing. I’ll ask you all to keep Jen and her family in your thoughts as she faces her mother’s battle with cancer. Also, the family of another friend named Jen with whom I worked at the radio station in Florida is facing a very difficult time. Follow this MySpace link and click on her “What’s been going on with me…” blog entry. If you can’t see it, the transcript follows:
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” What’s been going on with me… Hey : ) So, I have been in a total funk lately and have missed several days on the air. I mentioned briefly that we had a ‘family emergency’ because I just wasn’t ready to talk about it. But, I wanted to let you know a little bit about what’s been going on. Thursday night, Feb. 21st I was on my way to McFaddens to head up the Starting 11 Girl tryouts. The roads were bad… my cell phone rang… wasn’t going to answer because I wanted to concentrate on the road. But, I noticed it was my stepfather calling and he doesn’t normally call me… so I thought I should pick up. I’m glad I did. Even though I hated hearing what he had to tell me. My sister’s husband (39 years old) was killed in a car accident. All six of my nieces and nephews were in the car with him. All he knew was that Kevin was dead and all of my sister’s sweet children were in the hospital. Two were in the trauma unit. Frantically, I drove home. Matthew and I were able to get plane tickets to Maryland and flew out about an hour later. That was the worst plane ride of my life. As quickly as I wanted to get there… there was a part of me that just didn’t want to get there because then the horrible news would become a reality. Over the next five days we came together as a family and tried to make sense of this horrible, horrible tragedy. My brother-in-law wasn’t just my brother-in-law. I have always and will always consider him to be my brother. He guarded and guided me just like a big brother should. He and my sister met while she was in high school… I was 12 when he joined our family! Times sure flies. Praise God… the kids are all physically going to be fine. Isabella was the last to be released from the hospital but she is recovering and will be totally fine — physically. Mentally… that’s another story. They miss their daddy. My sister misses her husband. I miss my ‘brother’. Our family will never be the same. Anyway, that’s what’s been going on with me. I try to share a lot on the air… but I just wasn’t ready to talk about this one : ) Please keep my sister and nieces and nephews in your prayers. They are a beautiful family and we all have faith in God. I truly believe God has a plan for our lives and although it’s hard to understand this one right now… I know Kevin is in a better place. Thanks for caring… talk to ya soon. : ) Jenny “ |
I found the perfect song to go with this post. Click on the John Mayer video in the sidebar.
Have any of you been to Wal-Mart lately? Of course you ALL have, but have you been down the freezer aisle and noticed the new lights in the freezer cases? Well just in case you’re stuck somewhere in the dark recesses of this world, they have these new eco-friendly LED lights in their freezer cases that not only use less energy when on, but turn off when not in use. They have motion sensors above the doors that automatically light the case when the sensor detects motion within a certain range. Well the other day I had a unique experience. I happened to be at the end of an empty aisle (no freezer lights on) during a slow (Is Wal-Mart ever slow?) weekday afternoon and proceeded to stroll down the aisle, thus turning every light on as I passed by. I felt like I was in some fashion show. Like some cool music video. Only I was searching for Lean Cuisines in my sweats. Or was it sausage links?
Wal-Mart has always been at the forefront of eco-friendly, cost-saving measures in their stores. Their trademark skylights have sensors that are tied into the lights, where brighter outdoor light will turn some of their indoor lights off. Also, have you ever noticed how the water in their sinks is already warm? Supposedly, we waste more water waiting for it to get warm enough to wash our hands. It’s more cost-efficient to heat the water first.
Now only if they’d act as responsibly in all their affairs.
C’mon, now! Be honest!
Don’t tell me you’ve never put your car key into someone else’s car door and tried to open it, only to realize that your car isn’t even the same color as the one you’re trying to get into.
You say that’s never happened to you? Well, good.
That’s never happened to me, either.
Sometimes I think about it around this time of year, other years it just slips by quietly. It haunts me when my thoughts turn to it. It helps me to keep in perspective the fragility of life and just how invincible we’re not.
On February 9, 2002, back when we lived in Florida, I was driving home from my job at the radio station on an overcast Saturday evening just after 6:00. The rain had just begun to drizzle. I was driving southbound on a 4-lane highway when I saw a commotion about 1000 feet ahead. It was starting to get dark so I couldn’t quite trust my eyes, but it looked like a large pickup truck in the northbound lane had just crossed the 20-foot median and struck one of the cars ahead of me. The immediate train of brake lights and silhouette of spinning vehicles confirmed it. I continued slowly in the shoulder of the road to the vicinity of the accident. I could have turned down that side street that would take me around the scene, and to my home where my wife was making dinner in advance of my arrival. It was then that I parked and called her to tell her to go ahead and feed the kids and that I was getting out at this accident scene. I still didn’t know why. I felt led to do so, however.
As I walked with tall steps through the moist, uncut grass along Military Trail in near darkness, I could see the large pickup sitting haphazardly across the lanes I was just traveling in seconds ago. I saw two people on the ground near the truck. A man sat on the ground outside the driver side door and yelled into his cell phone. The woman looked dazed as she sat on the ground outside the passenger side door. I found out the next day that her name was Robin. Farther south in the same lanes sat a large sedan with a front end crumpled into the cabin of the car. I heard the screams of a girl coming from that area. I, like so many others who stopped, went in that direction. As I continued walking through the grass, I saw a person laying just off the road, about 20 feet from the truck. This person was way too far from the sedan to have come from it, so I asked Robin if there was someone else in her vehicle that was unaccounted for. She was of no help at the time. She seemed confused and kept saying, “Oh, Georgie… My God…” Against my advice to move at all, Robin painfully dragged herself near the side of the road, about 10 feet away from where I stood over this other person. I asked Robin repeatedly if there was someone else riding with her whom she wasn’t able to find and she stated that there was. She then started asking, “Where is she?” She? “A female?“, I asked. The person laying face down in the grass before me was wearing an A-shirt and jeans, with a buzz cut for hair. Not typical female attire or style. I later found out that this girl’s name was Nadine. She had been ejected the 20 feet or so from the truck. I leaned down and grabbed Nadine’s wrist to feel for a pulse. There was one… Thank God. I confirmed again with Robin that this in fact was a female I was looking at. She again confirmed it and continued to mutter to herself, oddly not concerned with me or what I was doing. So I leaned down on one knee, grabbed Nadine’s hand and spoke into her ear. I said, “Squeeze my hand if you can hear me…” I could feel a slight movement in her hand. To confirm that I wasn’t imagining it, I repeated myself. This motionless woman’s hand barely moved, but enough that I could tell that she heard me. I then got closer to her ear as a few people stood behind me and watched and cautioned me not to move her. I wasn’t about to. I just took the next minute or so to pray into her ear. As I heard sirens wailing minutes later, I felt for a pulse again. It was gone. Nadine had just passed, face down, in peace, surrounded by strangers. My stomach dropped. I felt sick. She was 29. So was I.
Screams could still be heard coming from the other car. The sedan had a group of people around it by that time. Minutes later, fire trucks and other emergency vehicles arrived. A crowd of people jumped out of these trucks, grabbed their gear and began to rush the scene. One guy ran up to us with his box and asked if there was a pulse. I said no. He checked for himself. There wasn’t. He asked me to help him flip her over. He attached this wire to her and looked at his screen. Whatever it indicated, he then stood up and walked away from us, headed to the sedan. He never came back. I sat there for what seemed like ages. I was asked to stay to give my statement, but asked to back up so that the police could cordon off the area. About a half hour later, I left and went home. I left the scene not knowing their names or anything else about these people I met tragically on the way home that night.
The next day, I read the Palm Beach Post to see what details they had of the incident. The ”Georgie” Robin kept referring to was the 38-year-old driving the truck with Nadine and Robin as passengers. The sedan carried a family of three. The screams we heard on the scene were those of 17-year-old, Vassilia, a girl that would find herself an orphan within 24 hours as a result of George’s decision to drink and drive that night. She lost both parents. The newspaper put names to all the people I saw that night. It said that Robin was in stable condition at a local hospital. I called her two days later and introduced myself to let her know that Nadine passed peacefully. I knew she wouldn’t remember the night, but needed to know what I knew. She was floored. She sobbed and sobbed over the phone to me. She asked me why I called her. Again, like when I got out of the car that night at the scene, I had no idea why other than to say that I wanted her to know. She thanked me. Robin told me how Nadine had just come from New Jersey less than a month ago to get away from her father and his dislike for her lifestyle. It was then that she asked me for a favor.
She then asked if I would call Nadine’s dad in New Jersey to tell him the story I had just told her. I gulped. Hard. I said I would and took down the number she gave me. We exchanged numbers and hung up.
I laid there and looked at the number and wondered if I had the strength to do it. I wondered if I had the right to do it. I wondered if it was even my place at all. Like the two times before, I wondered WHY I was even considering it. I felt like an outsider whose presence may or may not have been welcome in such a tragic circumstance. It was then that I thought of my three children. But then I thought about it as a parent and then the answer seemed clear. The directive laid out before me very plainly. I, myself, would want to know – God forbid – how my precious child passed. Twelve hundred miles from home, in front of strangers, but with peace, dignity and a prayer.
I dialed the number, but had to sit because my knees knocked uncontrollably. No answer. I left a message to have someone call me about Nadine. The next day, I grew uncomfortable with this burden and sought to offload it quickly. I remembered Robin telling me where she came from in New Jersey. I searched the internet for anyone in the small town in New Jersey with the same last name as Nadine’s. I found a few and again began to dial. A man answered at the second number. He said he knew Nadine.
I introduced myself and said that I was calling from Florida to share a story. When I asked who it was, he stated that he was Nadine’s father. I said that I called for no other reason than to answer any questions a parent might have about their child’s last moments on earth. It sounded like a lot of commotion on his end as he yelled over a room full of people to call others to pick up other phones in his house to hear what I had to say. He asked approximately ten questions and sounded sadder than when I found him, yet stated that he was relieved. He wanted to know how she was dressed, how she looked, whether or not she was in pain, who she was with, who was there, what I prayed, what the scene looked like… He admitted that he was confused as to why I was calling, he kept asking me, “So you were just driving by?” He also kept asking, “So you didn’t even know her?” I stated that I didn’t. He thanked me heavily. I gave him my number and offered to speak with him whenever he needed me. I never heard from him again. From what Robin told me, he and Nadine parted on bad terms. Little did he know that a month later, he’d be burying this girl of his that he last saw with a disapproving heart. Life’s fragile. not to mention short. I kept thinking about this during my talk with him.
George is currently serving a life sentence for his DUI that night. He was on probation at the time for another DUI. Sadly, it took three deaths to finally get him from behind a wheel. Vassilia finished high school and went on to Dartmouth College. I was invited by Robin and Nadine’s girlfriend to come to a fundraiser at a local nightclub to help her dad with funeral expenses. If I remember correctly, Robin told me that her dad didn’t accept the money raised for her that night at that nightclub. It still was a great thing for me to go, however. I got to see pictures of Nadine when she was full of life and vitality. I got to hear stories of how she loved all those around her and touched the lives of all that knew her well. I needed that to get me past the images of her that stuck in my mind from that night I first saw her.
I look back on that as one of my first realizations of God’s ways. God has always been there in my life, but it was then that I, as a new believer at the time, realized that I was there that night for a reason. I say humbly… I got out of the car inexplicably. I called the hospital inexplicably. I called New Jersey and searched for a stranger inexplicably.
God knew all along.
If you noticed the header up there, you saw correctly. I’ve been out of work for a few weeks now. Let go by the company that I was working for. We underwent a takeover back in September, where I was kept on as a General Manager at the Ashley Furniture Homestore I’d been at for just over a year. Well three months in, they come in and tell me they’ve got new plans – that don’t include me. Actually, they inherited me as a manager and never really intended to keep me on, I’ve since found out. Which is all good. In hindsight, it makes sense, given the training I went through. Since I’m actively seeking opportunities with prospective employers, and in this day and age of internet searches and the like, I’ll keep the rest of my opinions regarding the (on)crack district management staff to myself.
It’s funny how God works, y’know?
Just when I thought it was a horrible thing, I find that it is actually a very good thing. As in most things in life, timing is everything and in this circumstance it sucks. But who ever said that what I want to happen is guaranteed to happen exactly when I want it to happen? (Got that?)
I’m in a better place emotionally and spiritually and I came to find just how much my wife loves me and believes in me. Minutes after leaving work on my last day, I had to make one of the least favorite phone calls on any husband’s list. She never missed a beat and knows like I do that God is good and makes us privy to His plan in due time.
Besides, laundry’s caught up, dinner is no longer Marti’s duty, solely. Nor are kids’ sports practices, games, etc. It’s almost 4 years ago and the stay-at-home dad skills are ever-present.
I lost my job but found more.
PS - Let me know if you have a career for me. Or if know someone who has a career for me. Or if you have someone who knows someone who has a career for me. Or if… 
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